Friday, August 29, 2008

Bullshit density 75% and rising

That gesture from the Republicans about Obama's acceptance speech is not a thumbs down. It's the finger.

That obscene gesture is about the only Republican part of the story that's not complete and total bullshit. Twenty paragraphs, here goes:

  1. The finger above
  2. Previously canned McCain press release: "misleading speech" - this bullshit thoroughly debunked tomorrow
  3. The temple bullshit, already slapped down hard, plus lies about bipartisanship and the thoroughly dishonest $42,000 figure
  4. More ready than the guy who has been wrong about everything, but at least this is an interpretation, not pure excrement
  5. The Hollywood jealousy bullshit, anonymously sourced
  6. Everything's relatively new, compared to John McCain
  7. Where did the phrase "unusually generous" come from? A McCain press release?
  8. More temple bullshit from operatives who spin more than a gyroscope
  9. Anonymous bloggers weigh in with ... nothing - Obama will raise taxes, but only on the rich.
  10. Again with the bullshit about that one guy who made $42,000 and had to pay more - he probably had Cayman Island tax shelters that the IRS found smelly.
  11. Direct quote from Obama - how did this get in here?
  12. Obama zinger - wha?
  13. Tucky Bounds calls Obama's zinger an insult that ignores ... what exactly did McCain do?
  14. Bounds raises an AP story, but CNN doesn't bother to quote it. Maybe they're afraid the AP will sue.
  15. Another direct Obama quote - is CNN trying to let a Democrat speak? That's three whole paragraphs out of 20.
  16. Bounds knows that McCain's "plan" to eliminate the deficit is such a huge mound of bullshit that every American alive - and most of our dead - would have to eat it by the shovelful to get rid of enough to make a dent. Yet with a straight face, he takes Obama to task for honestly not promising to eliminate the deficit that McCain's mate Duhbya caused with his plutocratic tax cuts and his deceptively sold war in Iraq. Seriously, Tucky has a breath-taking, sociopathic amount of gall, which requires him to speak a brown blizzard of bullshit lest his head explode.
  17. Cocktail dress Leslie Sanchez, who has the credibility of an evil stepmother, decries Obama's utter failure to provide a spreadsheet. He has big ears, sure, but he's in no other way similar to Ross Perot. Even Alex Castellanos thought Obama's speech was good, but not Leslie.
  18. A fourth paragraph of Obama! Heads will roll.
  19. Fifth. Gurgling sounds from McCNN's Republican political officer. Frothing at the mouth. Call a veterinarian.
  20. Leslie missed the fact that Obama's revenues would come out of her hide and that of her wealthy buddies. Then she claims that it's the Democratic solutions that have failed. Look around you, kid. Constitution? Bird-cage liner. Iraq? Improved from total fucking disaster to future Iran-dominated theocracy - yay! New Orleans? Abandoned, screwed over, never repaired. Financial system? Deregulated into chaos and bankruptcy and teetering always on the brink of ruin. Human rights? Waterboarded into submission.
Let me say again: There is no reason whatsoever to believe anything a Republican politician ever says. None, nada, zip, zilch. They don't know their ass from their elbow, and they don't want to know. Knowing might make all their essential production of bullshit too cognitively dissonant to manage without tics and tells.

Last, it seems that there are an awful lot of Republican reaction stories on McCNN. And I do mean awful. Will the Democrats get such a privilege? Hey, McCNN, as long as you're quoting anonymous blogger reactions, I'm available. I'll even clean up my fucking language, just for you.

Update (8/30): Linked to the promised debunking.

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