Auditioning a replacement

Click image for full Jen Sorensen/C-VILLE Weekly cartoon.

No preconditions

McCain and Graham are not the mullahs in this metaphor. James Dobson, Rush Limbaugh, and Tony Perkins would be the mullahs. McCain and Graham are more like Ahmadinejad, a couple of bloviators who need their feathers smoothed so that they can maintain their misplaced self-importance.

The Obama administration is grown up enough to meet and talk with people who oppose them. They don't do the middle school social shunning the Republicans prefer.

First principles

David Vitter watch, day 610. What's he doing with himself now that he can't order out for companionship? But at least his sin was heterosexual sex, and what's a little kinkiness if you're making the pros pretend to be your wife!

Even though Vitter actually had sex again and again with his paid friends and Larry Craig didn't, the Christianists will stand by Vitter.

Remember this the next time political, professional Christians pillory a liberal for some personal failing.

The first principle of people like Tony Perkins is to win their vision of a theocratic America. Vitter's just a tool.

Inside the belly of the beast

Never mind that Tony Perkins got inside the beast's belly by doing more self-service (and self-serving) colonoscopy. He sees the Republican coalition the way I do:

"What has made the conservative movement strong is when you have social conservatives, fiscal conservatives and foreign policy conservatives working together," he said.

Yep, fundies, wealthies, and bullies. Perkins puts his own group first even though it's clear that the wealthies own the Republican Party and steer it.

Perkins, of course, believes a whole heavenly host of things that are bullshit. For example:

"Moderates never beat conservatives. We've seen that in past elections," he said.

I guess a primary is not an election. Go figure. And, of course, John McCain is only a moderate if you're a frothing, quivering wingnut. But that's their story, and they're sticking to it.

They're just ignoring all the moderate Democrats who've beaten wingnuts. But by their definition, all Dems are lunatic socialists, and they can't see any differences after their decades-long one-size-fits-all vilification.

Covering the wingnuts

Nope, that's not Eddie Bauer that Mark Preston is talking with. Remember Gary Bauer? Yep, he's a "prominent social conservative." Preston also talks to Phyllis Schlafly, the ridiculous self-hating mom of a gay son and the woman who manages somehow to make Lady Thatcher look both moderate and stylish. And he rounds out the wingnut trifecta with William Murray. No, not that Bill Murray.

Preston is a regular Groundhog Day of blithering right-wing politics.

Oops, I missed Tony Perkins. Not the self-help infomercial guru overplayed by Ben Stiller or the Deadipal heir of Bates Motel - another Republican guy who wants to police your genitals and mine as if that's what Jesus cared about.

I also missed Mike Farris, another lunatic Republican-Jesus-freak best known for indoctrination through home-schooling.

What's the story now, a quinfecta? Does that make us all quinfected? And Preston is delivering criticism of John McCain from the right. Yeah, buddy!