More patriotic than Newt

Newt Gingrich (R-cheating for the flag) did two wives wrong because of his overwhelming boner for America.  He was working hard and long cheek to cheek with other (younger) women, and he needed sex relief.  Right there in the Speaker's office.  If Bill Clinton could get some in the Oval Office...

John Ensign (R-much better looking than Harry Reid) had to go him one better and have an affair with a close friend's wife.  That personal sacrifice shows just how much Ensign loves America.  He was willing to wreck four lives at once and maybe get his own mother indicted for perjury for her involvement in paying hush money.

Top that, Gingrich!  Isn't it about time you found someone to cheat with on Callista?  She has to be expecting it.

What sweet young wingnut sycophant will be the next last refuge of a scoundrel?

What's David Vitter up to these days?

It's David Vitter watch, day 1009!

A Republican political operative is hiding in the shadows of "performance art" by a Libertarian stalking horse candidate. The obvious purpose is to continue to harp on Eliot Spitzer's consorting with prostitutes. The Libertarian is herself a madam. (Management! Obviously the Republican constituency...) At least she has the courage of her conviction(s), and advocates legalization. As if that would pass.

Meanwhile, David Vitter (R-not caught paying skanks lately) is running for reelection! And a porn star who was twittering about running against him has decided not to - that pole dancing beats poll dancing.

John Ensign (R-Indecent Proposal) also remains in the Party of NO, just not the party of saying no.

The Republicans don't actually need these filly-busters to sustain their perpetual filibuster. Keeping the Dems at 59 is enough. They're just immune to their own hypocrisy.

Editorial decision

This doesn't happen by accident. Someone in a management position at CNN decided that this bullshit story quoting Dick Cheney as liking Republicans (how novel!) deserves to float to the top of the ticker for the second day in a row. Also, as someone in the now-deleted comments observed, why would anyone quote from the Washington Times, which is even more a wingnut propaganda outfit than Fox?

Darth does get off one unforgettable line:

"I think that it's just a matter of time before the party begins to sort of firm up around a few key individuals, and we'll hear big things from them in the future," Cheney said.

And here I thought firming up around key individuals was the problem that Ensign and Sanford had.

David Vitter watch, day 717

The response of conservatives to sexual misconduct in their leaders is objectively pro-hypocrisy:

[W]hile Vitter, Ensign, Gingrich and perhaps Sanford have been able to retain their positions and political viability, the same cannot be said for the most recent offenders on the progressive side. Neither Eliot Spitzer nor John Edwards, each among the most promising figures in the Democratic Party, will ever be a candidate for public office again, although their misbehavior was no worse than what their Republican counterparts did.

Not to mention, pro-adultery.

Republicans know they're in trouble

Through no fault of my own, I'm on a pile of right-wing mailing lists (and you know what that pile is made of, right?). The NRSC writes:

Dear Mrs. [redacted],

Already, it's clear how well they know me. If I were a missus, I'd have to be in a gay marriage, and you know what they think about letting sodomites into that sacred institution that Britney is doing so proud. At least they got the redacted part right.

On behalf of the Republican Party, I want you to know that we hear your frustrations and that we know mistakes were made when we controlled Congress.

There has been too much drift from what you expect of your Republican leadership. We need to shrink Washington's power, cut taxes and defend our borders before it is too late.

When a Republican admits error, even in the passive voice, it usually means that someone should be going to jail.

When I saw that your Sustaining Membership ... remains "INACTIVE," I knew at once that you deserve to know you are being heard loud and clear every bit as much as I need your help in putting the past behind us and moving forward.

Ignoring the libelous implication that I have ever given those toadies anything better than a sharp stick in the eye, whew, can you smell the desperation? Smells a hell of a lot better than teen spirit. And who writes crap like "heard ... every bit as much as I need your help"? There is a nugget of ... truth in that though: If they didn't need my $35, they wouldn't be hearing me.

The campaign season is here and sitting on the sidelines today is the same as handing President Hillary Clinton and MoveOn.org a 60-seat "rubber stamp" Senate.

Sure, I'd prefer John Edwards, and I know the GOP wants to scare its lily-livered wingnut followers with the eeevil Hillary and the treee-eeesonous MoveOn (of which I really am a member), but they can't really be worried about a filibuster-proof Senate. Can they? Oh, please, can they? I'll be a good boy.

Please join me ... and [help] me defend 23 Republican seats and defeat at least 2 Democrats in the Senate.

Sure, they're fear-mongering in their base. Fear is what they do. But I am thrilled at the teensy scope of their ambition. Mary Landrieu and Tim Johnson, they're coming for you.

Mostly, though, I enjoy the business reply mail envelope. I can use it to suck at least another half dollar out of their campaign coffers.