Republicans know they're in trouble

Through no fault of my own, I'm on a pile of right-wing mailing lists (and you know what that pile is made of, right?). The NRSC writes:

Dear Mrs. [redacted],

Already, it's clear how well they know me. If I were a missus, I'd have to be in a gay marriage, and you know what they think about letting sodomites into that sacred institution that Britney is doing so proud. At least they got the redacted part right.

On behalf of the Republican Party, I want you to know that we hear your frustrations and that we know mistakes were made when we controlled Congress.

There has been too much drift from what you expect of your Republican leadership. We need to shrink Washington's power, cut taxes and defend our borders before it is too late.

When a Republican admits error, even in the passive voice, it usually means that someone should be going to jail.

When I saw that your Sustaining Membership ... remains "INACTIVE," I knew at once that you deserve to know you are being heard loud and clear every bit as much as I need your help in putting the past behind us and moving forward.

Ignoring the libelous implication that I have ever given those toadies anything better than a sharp stick in the eye, whew, can you smell the desperation? Smells a hell of a lot better than teen spirit. And who writes crap like "heard ... every bit as much as I need your help"? There is a nugget of ... truth in that though: If they didn't need my $35, they wouldn't be hearing me.

The campaign season is here and sitting on the sidelines today is the same as handing President Hillary Clinton and MoveOn.org a 60-seat "rubber stamp" Senate.

Sure, I'd prefer John Edwards, and I know the GOP wants to scare its lily-livered wingnut followers with the eeevil Hillary and the treee-eeesonous MoveOn (of which I really am a member), but they can't really be worried about a filibuster-proof Senate. Can they? Oh, please, can they? I'll be a good boy.

Please join me ... and [help] me defend 23 Republican seats and defeat at least 2 Democrats in the Senate.

Sure, they're fear-mongering in their base. Fear is what they do. But I am thrilled at the teensy scope of their ambition. Mary Landrieu and Tim Johnson, they're coming for you.

Mostly, though, I enjoy the business reply mail envelope. I can use it to suck at least another half dollar out of their campaign coffers.