Stuffed with mildewed straw

Sarah Palin stars in a new one-woman show, The Wizard of Id. She plays Dorothy even though she can't sing. She can't even dance around reporters' questions. She plays the Tin Man, a natural for every Republican. She plays the Scarecrow, stuffed with straw, although not with knowledge. She plays the Cowardly Lyin'.

Even so, her favorite part is playing the Wicked Witch of the Northwest Passage. Who needs that Arctic ice anyways, besides a few sponging unchristian polar bears! She's so talented that monkeys fly out of her butt. Speaking of which, she couldn't find her ass with both hands even if she was already sitting on them.

Will somebody puh-leeze throw a hogshead of dirty dishwater on this fraud!