Villain of the piece

It's obvious that my parents saddled me with an unamerican moral when they read me The Emperor's New Clothes. Those pinko-leftist-commies (oops, Ten Commandment violation) told me that the loud-mouthed boy was the hero, when in fact he was the villain. No society should have to tolerate a mere boy savagely violating the community's values by speaking up against his royal elders and betters.

No, I'm not thinking of Graeme Frost and SCHIP, though I could be. Where did that little twerp get off taking government help and then not keeping quiet about it? He's one of those people who will take your money and then has the cheek to disagree with the President's valiant attempt to keep other children from the forcible imposition on them of health care that could damage their (and our) God-given free market.

I'm thinking of Jimmy Carter, a loud-mouthed ex-President, who repeats to us what his lyin' eyes tell him about torture, and this is treated as news by the lib'rul media. A society that valued Republicans would not regard this assertion as printable:

But you can make your own definition of human rights and say we don't violate them, and you can make your own definition of torture and say we don't violate them.

Can you imagine the gall of the man! It's like President Duhbya says: We're Americans. We couldn't possibly do anything wrong; God wouldn't let us. Nothing we actually do could possibly be torture, no matter what's in Jimmy's dictionary - did he get it from France? We do all that stuff in the Yoo memo that Gonzo signed off on and all the stuff that Rummy wanted to do, but there's still quite a bit left that Darth Cheney wants to do. And even that wouldn't be torture.

And think about Jack Bauer. He tortures on 24 - because he has to. We do, too - to protect Murka. If you say anything different, we'll ship you to Guantanamo, you ultra-left dweebs.

[/sarcasm]