What to look for on Super Tuesday

Imagine Ted Baxter reading this: As the votes roll in across this great nation, you'll know it's a good day for John McCain if Mitt Romney fails to hold Massachusetts. Hillary Clinton should also do well there, having fired back at Ted Kennedy's endorsement of Barack Obama with a Kennedy endorsement of her own - Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

And blah, blah, blah...

Oh, yeah, turnout! What's the turnout going to be like?

Please, please, please, let an underdog win somewhere, so we can use our canned Super Bowl analogies. (Shh, we can always say that Mike Huckabee wanted to be the New York Giants today but couldn't quite put together the power rush.)

And now, the latest update on Natalee Holloway and the dirtbag van der Sloot... (I'm totally up to date on that because I spent a couple hours in a pizza place that had Headline News on, and -- barf!)

What to look for on Super Tuesday: the votes. They come in plenty fast these days (most of the time).

No one needs a bunch of well-turned-out vacuous news commentators to predict the outcome with 35 seconds left in the fourth quarter (ha!), hypocrites all for caring about John Edwards's haircut when they have stylists on staff. We can all wait for actual news.

Meanwhile, as they media bloviators are forced to wait along with the rest of us, could they cover Duhbya's irresponsible budget and the FBI's request to tag us all with biometrics when we can't even agree to tag explosives? How about some coverage of that?