First principles

David Vitter watch, day 610. What's he doing with himself now that he can't order out for companionship? But at least his sin was heterosexual sex, and what's a little kinkiness if you're making the pros pretend to be your wife!

Even though Vitter actually had sex again and again with his paid friends and Larry Craig didn't, the Christianists will stand by Vitter.

Remember this the next time political, professional Christians pillory a liberal for some personal failing.

The first principle of people like Tony Perkins is to win their vision of a theocratic America. Vitter's just a tool.

Dementia

It's a terrible personal tragedy that Pete Domenici (R-NM) has a progressive, judgement-destroying dementia. It's also a powerful metaphor for the Republican Party.

The further irony is that the GOP will not demand the resignation of someone who is medically and incurably unfit to serve, while it will demand the resignation of someone who pled guilty to soliciting gay sex.

Of course, crass partisan political calculations about the appointment of a successor are more important than anything to them.

Safe harbor

Nothing like regular payments to ensure loyalty. You can always count on conservatives to take care of their own, and Judy Miller is certainly one of their own. This is one reason they're so likely to fall on their swords if necessary - they know it won't cost them their cushy lifestyle. They'll probably even quietly take care of Larry Craig. And Scooter Libby is set for life, bet on it.

Bathroom humor

What Larry Craig did in the Minneapolis airport was not lewd, nor should it have been treated as a crime, but it sure has been fun to watch the Republicans scramble to sexually cleanse their party yet again.

Who'll be next? The other Larry - Flynt - is not telling. I wonder, did he have something to do with the release of this information? How did this two-month-old arrest come out now, anyway?

Oh, by the way, Craig was trying to find a tryst with another friend of Dorothy. The whole "I'm not gay" schtick sounds like the pleading of a first grader who just peed in his pants, "I spilled my water!" He knew he was caught and just wanted it to go away; most of us hets would have emphatically refused the smelly little coercive deal that he took in order to be quietly on his way. Now he takes a wide stance before the microphone and says he's going to "fight" to reopen the plea. Yeah, sure, and he's going to sue the media for besmirching his name, too. I'd bet on pro se or not at all. There's no one to sue about this since he can't sue himself for arrogant stupidity or inconvenient appetites.

This guy is a rank paleocon traditionalist. Maybe he's a top and thinks that means he's not actually gay.

No matter. He's had his last fifteen minutes of fame, also his first. Really, had anyone outside Idaho ever even heard of him before?

The world won't be any better off either. The Republican governor of Idaho will appoint another reliable medieval vote, presumably one without such obvious feet of clay.

Footsie

A couple of housekeeping items up front:

• Larry Craig is not a credible witness in his own defense.
• Craig did not commit any lewd act whatsoever.
• People should be arrested for having sex in public bathrooms.
• Craig is a gay-bashing jerk even if he is gay (which would also make him a self-loathing hypocrite).
  

OK?

Much as I'd like to pile on, the fact basis in this case does not appear to support conviction for anything. The so-called evidence is:

• Craig hovered outside the officer's stall and "fidgeted" with his fingers. Can't imagine an innocent explanation for that. Maybe we should call Roseanne Rosannadanna.
  
• He blockaded his stall door with his luggage. Was he supposed to put it next to the toilet? Sure, that's what I want my bags soaking in.
• He tapped his foot! Imagine. He could have been playing with his ... iPod.
  
• He played footsie with the undercover police officer. While definitely suggestive, this is an ambiguous act, and he only did it once. I'm sure that ambiguity is part of the game, but the police need more than just that. (Working vice, they're probably used to running hookers in without ever getting a price negotiated.)
• Craig did unusual things under the divider with his hands, though there's no allegation that he made any widely-known gesture.

This stakeout seems a little like a racket to me. Engage in some ambiguous behavior that might be flirting, get arrested under the time pressure of making your flight, plead guilty, pony up five hundred bucks, and walk away without ever having to register as a sex offender.

Reminds me of a time I got stopped for speeding in New Hampshire. The two cars in front of me had NH plates and got to go on their merry way with nary a blue light. At the time, Massachusetts issued single plates for the rear, so it was obvious I was an out-of-stater. Ah, revenue enhancement - and the $55 price was low enough that it didn't pay to fight it.

The problem with working up real, non-extortionate lewd conduct raps is that you have to wait around for real hook-ups or something really unambiguous. My own untrained instinct tells me that Craig has a point about entrapment. Would he have gotten a free trip downtown if he pushed that?

I did enjoy the officer's refusal to accept Craig's bullshit, even though he was using interrogation techniques to try to elicit a confession. It's a little scary that the officer demanded Craig confess just because all his other would-be trysters had owned up but I suppose normal for his job.

Anyone else wondering why David Vitter is still in the Senate? Couldn't have anything to do with orientation, could it?