Truth and nothing but

The question for Roland Burris is whether he told the whole truth, and it certainly appears that he conveniently did not.

Our legal processes routinely swear witnesses to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and then they decline those witnesses any opportunity to tell the whole truth. I don't think this was one of those times when a presiding officer had to confine a witness to address the question asked.

Nonetheless, perjury here is just a Republican wet dream - anything to keep Blagojevich in the headlines, they're interested in.

Tough choices

Penélope Cruz on Leno vs. Rod Blagojevich on Letterman? Easy.

Democrats faced with corruption of one of their own (swift impeachment) vs. Republicans faced with dereliction of the sworn duty of one of their own (crickets). Easy.

So why is it still tough for the elite media and the Rush Limbaugh deadenders to choose wisely?

Off his nut

When I previously said that I thought Rod Blagojevich (D-Outer Space) was bipolar, I was having some fun (although I did think it was possible). Now, I think he'll be on lithium before his daughter's birthday, although he'll be out of office and possibly hospitalized. Ironic that the Globe's headline refers to "Ill governor". (I omitted the period for rhetorical purposes.)

Bipolar is a serious illness. My late uncle and a friend have suffered from it. The manias lead to otherwise unaccountable behavior such as Blagojevich's. It's his last chance to be on talk shows! Never mind that his life is burning to the ground around him.

Heiress apparent

Here's the Sarah Palin quote:

"You need to know that both Levi and Bristol are working their butts off to parent and going to school and working at the same time," Palin told PEOPLE in a phone message Wednesday. "They are certainly not high school dropouts."

Here's the truth: Levi has dropped out of high school for an unspecified apprenticeship as an electrician. Is that a glorified way of saying that he's a gofer for an electrician? Doesn't Alaska have vo-tech high schools? Bristol has dropped out of high school to have her baby. She plans to complete her diploma by correspondence. Huh? What's wrong with going back to school next year?

I understand that Palin loves her daughter. I understand that she's defensive about her trailer trash mothering. But can't she just say, "We love them, and we'll help them work out the problems they face in their lives"? I realize that she'd be much more censorious about my daughter getting knocked up even though Palin herself got knocked up before marriage, too, but I'll just let the hypocrisy go.

Palin, like Duhbya and many other Republicans before him, describes the world the wishful way she wants it to be, rather than the way it is. That's what leads them to useless abstinence-only sex ed. That's why they claim that waterboarding is not torture - if they do it. That's why they rely on dozens of other claims that are wildly at variance with reality - but popular nonetheless.

This propensity for bullshit is, of course, not limited to Republicans, but Republicans lie like this to us as a matter of course, almost as if they were no less superficial than the average ad campaign. They do this so much that's it's not even news any more, while a venal and self-serving Democratic bullshitter like Rod Blagojevich is front-page material for weeks.

A defense for Blagojevich

From me? Hell, no.

I look forward to Blagojevich and his attorneys pleading undiagnosed bipolar, and his behavior is so far out there that this might actually be true. True, but not exculpatory.

I suspect he'll do some time. Maybe he'll still be wondering what's in it for him.